Bonds of Love 4 | raincoat bondage story | plastic bound, school

A sudden, rattling roar of machine-gun fire exploded around Sureerat's ears and she instinctively dived downwards. Bullets were buzzing overhead like angry hornets and they were arcing ever closer while she wildly glanced around before belatedly realising that she was not being fired upon.

Sureerat groaned out aloud before wiping her forehead. She was sweating like a pig and it wasn't the rainsuit covering her body like clingfilm. Dreams could be awfully realistic things and Sureerat wished that she hadn't watched Stanley Kubrick's 'Full Metal Jacket' on TV the evening earlier. It'd been all too realistic and she fervently hoped Indonesia would never be caught up in a similar war. At least it wasn't all bad news though. The black pajama-clad Viet Cong weren't going to get her after all. She wouldn't have to worry about being tied up with thin wire or tortured either. No bombs, putrid punji traps, disgusting messy mud or yukky leeches as well. After catching her breath, Sureerat undid the soft plastic hood of the rainsuit surrounding her head before carefully looking around.

A soft dull light lit the room, turning everything a drab monochromatic grey. The normally exuberantly happy, dancing morning shadows were gone and they'd been replaced by a deep, pervasive gloom that cast a cloud over everything like a damp blanket. Rain… It was raining. Obviously. Sureerat frowned before smiling. The abrupt burst of gunfire which had so rudely woken her up had turned out to be nothing more than a sudden spray of rain rattling against the windows. However, she was somewhat surprised. The annual big rains were weeks away. This downpour was most unseasonal. Perhaps it was an early season typhoon. They weren't that uncommon around here.

Sureerat grinned. She would take it. At least she'd get a chance to wear her raincoat outdoors for once. The recent glorious sunny weather they'd been enjoying was all very well but she'd missed the brilliant buttercup yellow gleam of her raincoat and the intoxicating crackly rustle of vinyl around her knees very much. There was nothing quite like the pleasure that a rainy day provided, even if her friends failed to appreciate the subtle joy of watching the way each droplet of water beaded upon the smooth plastic of their rainwear before joining their cousins and slowly sliding downwards before striking the ground. She wouldn't have to worry about feeling foolish about wearing her rainwear either because the low, dark cloud and constant, steady teeming rain meant it would not go away any time soon.

She gazed out the partially open windows before dressing. The trees were silent sentinels wearily bowing underneath the weight of the wind and rain gusting around them. Their brilliant green leaves glistened with a crystalline moisture that glittered like a heavenly Christmas tree under the dull light. The huge red hibiscus glowered downward with a rancour normally absent from her favourite flower, the one that always helped brighten each day. Even the distant growl of the morning traffic was overwhelmed by the low, gloomy howl of the wind. However, even the cold wind wasn't enough to drown out the steady percussion of the drumming rain striking the tiled roof of her old home.

Sureerat shivered before pulling her favourite old pair of jeans on. It was also cold. Normally at this time of day, it would already be a balmy 25 degrees or so before warming up to a top of 30 or even 35. However, it was probably only around 17 or 18 and she gustily exhaled before smiling again. At least wearing her raincoat would be even more of a pleasure than normal. It would keep her dry as well as warm.

The sky was actually darkening and entranced with the cold eerie beauty of the day, Sureerat stared outside. The normally delightful blue of the ocean had seamlessly merged with the dark horizon and it wasn't easy working out which began or ended where. The air shimmered with rain. It was a silver curtain that obscured the normally dreamlike vista fanning outward from the cliff top aerie of her sprawling home. Even the outskirts of Semarang were barely visible beneath the teeming wall of water crushing the life out of the parched earth.

Sureerat shivered again and it had nothing to do with the chill of the early morning. She had a bad feeling about the day. An indefinable dread was occupying her stomach like a malignant cancer and she could not understand why. Perhaps it was her imagination, Sureerat thought. It was true that she had an over-active imagination and she quickly dismissed the thought. She was still spooky after watching that film and the dream which had followed it; that would explain why she wasn't feeling wonderful about the day.

Something to eat and a nice rainy day walk with her raincoat on would make her feel better. In fact, she would put it on right now…

Suddenly, the window shuddered as another strong blast of wind made the glass rattle within its protective frame and she jumped like a startled rabbit. Glistening rivulets of water momentarily obscured the view before streaming downward in a dozen miniature cataracts and she sighed again before turning away. Shaking off that feeling was impossible.

While Sureerat thoughtfully chewed on a large and tangy piece of jackfruit, she thought about Andy. She would not see much of him because he was going away with the school basketball team. They were playing another school in Jepara. Although the small coastal town of Jepara was not far as the crow flies, the hilly, winding roads were so bad she knew the return trip would take all day. The cantankerous old, belching school bus didn't like hills – it would be stuck in first gear half the time. The foul weather would only make the drive more difficult and she sighed. He would be away all day although there was a chance of quickly catching up with him and saying hello if she left early enough. Oh well. It wasn't all bad news. Her parents were going away and she smiled. Her father had an important business meeting in Jakarta on Monday (something to do with obtaining a government building contract) and he was taking Mom along as well because she wanted to do some shopping. They would be leaving very early tomorrow morning in order to beat the traffic and the heat assuming it cleared by then. Benny was also sleeping over with a friend while they were away and it meant she would have the whole house to herself until Tuesday or Wednesday.

Andy was coming around tomorrow morning and Sureerat glowed while she thought about the tying-up games they would enjoy together. Her shiny yellow rainwear crackled sympathetically. He had had to spend last Sunday with his family and she hadn't been tied up all month. It was now almost two weeks since she'd last enjoyed the sweet kiss of rope circling her body and she bit her lip. She could feel her body aching with a deep, inexpressible longing that would not go away. It'd been so long since she'd been tied up nice and tight and it was hurting. She missed the incomparable sensation of having her arms so tightly bound together above her elbows that they touched each other, with an intensity she could not believe. Sureerat glanced around the kitchen before deciding to ask Andy if he would tie her up as tightly as possible, really tight. She would get him to tie her hands to her feet again. That would be so nice.

She grinned before cutting another piece of fruit away from the huge seed inside the core. Each giant green, spiky jackfruit contained dozens of similar seeds and the stuff surrounding each was almost a meal all by itself. Mmm, yes. Two days. They would have two whole days together and her smile widened while she fantasised about the various ways Andy might tie her up. Of course he would tie a rope between her legs and…

"Why are you smiling?" said Benny and Sureerat bit her lip again before forcing a smile. Damn him! He had this most annoying way of butting in like a randy goat on heat. What was more, it always happened during the most inopportune moments. She'd had this lovely daydream going then…

She impatiently shook her head before slowly replying. "Because."

"Oh," Benny mused before glancing upwards. "Why're you wearing your raincoat?" Smirking.

Sureerat closed her eyes before sighing again. How did he always manage to make her feel like such a freak? Did he know? She thoughtfully rubbed the gleaming collar of her raincoat before crossly replying, "Because it's raining."

"But inside?"

"Coz I like wearing it!" Sarcastic.

"You wear it all the time," Benny observed and Sureerat clenched her fists under the table. She wanted to hit him.

"Nastily, "What if I do? It's school rules."

"I think you like wearing it."

"That's it, I'm leaving," Sureerat sighed before quickly glancing away so he couldn't see the look of guilt flitting across her face. "See you later." Damn that brat. He'd successfully spoiled all the good vibes she'd carefully built up and that sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach was back. Why did she have such an ominous feeling of doom, that something really bad was going to happen?

Benny's loud raucous laughter followed Sureerat while she stalked out the room. She was acutely aware of the glistening, smooth folds of the raincoat cloaking her body while she flounced outside. The crackly rustle of vinyl was embarrassingly loud and she could feel her face heating up like a tomato ripening under the sun. Normally, she enjoyed the familiar, reassuring noise that her raincoat made but not now. Its shockingly bright, gleaming yellow folds provided a vivid splash of colour against the much more muted tones of the weathered timber and brick walls of their house and they made her feel very exposed. She stood out. Like a circus clown. Normally her raincoat was an antidote that perfectly counterbalanced the cheerless, dull grey gloom of the average rainy day but its sheer shiny yellowness made her feel more like a freak than ever.

"What's wrong with me?" Sureerat sadly asked herself while she picked up her bulging bag. "Why aren't I more like everyone else?" She glanced downwards before studying each large, round button fastening her raincoat together, encasing her in rippling, gleaming yellow vinyl from head to toe. It shone like a newly waxed car and Sureerat flushed with embarrassment while she absentmindedly ran each hand down the glistening, smooth sides of her raincoat. She loved the way the vinyl crinkled and moved with every step she took. Sometimes she even thought her raincoat was alive.

Normally wearing it gave her immense pleasure but… She was aware some people laughed at her because she wore it every opportunity she got. She wore her slicker outside even if it only looked like it might rain. Before stepping outside, Sureerat studied its vinyl folds again before loudly exhaling like a hippo with gingivitis. It was an embarrassment coat.

She bit her lip before thinking about taking it off. This plastic thing was almost as bad as this tying up thing and she flinched again. What would all her friends say if they knew how much she loved being tied up so tight that she couldn't move so much as one inch? The fact she especially liked it when Andy tied her hands to her feet? The way a rope tied between her legs made her react? What would they think about that? What would they say if they also knew about this raincoat business as well? How she put her rainwear on before being tied up. The way she put a plastic rainsuit on before bed. Sleeping in it. Would they be shocked? Laugh? Either way, it was just plain wrong. Wicked even.

Sureerat shook her head before sighing again. It was a talk she'd had with herself a dozen times but… Benny's attitude had brought matters to a head. Her raincoat was no longer the source of illicit pleasure it'd been. It was a millstone around her neck and one that suddenly made her feel very self-conscious about wearing it. There was no, no, no one else who liked wearing raincoats anything like the way she did. Perhaps she should try wearing her raincoat less. Take it off when it wasn't wet. Her hands hovered above the button holding the collar closed around her neck. She'd buttoned everything up before going downstairs. Unsurprisingly, Benny was quick noticing the way she'd fastened every button closed. Of course. She'd advertised her longing like a neon sign. Stupid, stupid. Sureerat sighed again. But she'd so longed for the comforting feel of the smooth vinyl cloaking her body. It was her security blanket. Would Linus understand? She sighed again before wearily closing her eyes. How was she going to cope without wearing it unless it was really wet?

Like today. It was still raining as heavily as ever and Sureerat was not sure if she should be pleased or annoyed. Visibility was already only around a hundred or so metres and she exhaled with a whistle that rustled the leaves of a nearby frangipani, creating a miniature shower of moisture off its dark green leaves. Taking it off was not only pointless but stupid as well. It wouldn't be much fun being soaked to the bone in weather like this apart from the buses and bemos who never bothered look where they were going anyway. Besides… if she took it off now, everyone would want to know why she wasn't wearing it and that was almost as bad as leaving it on. In the social, convivial manner of the tropics, people lived half their lives outdoors and she knew practically everybody who lived along the streets she took to school. She would stand out more than if she left it on.

Well. She would take it off the moment it stopped raining. Try become a little more normal like everyone else. Sureerat chewed her lip again before pulling the gleaming hood up around her head. It was easier said than done. Doing up the drawstring tapes and fastening the hood around her face was one of the best bits about putting her raincoat on. It was a ritual she normally enjoyed and Sureerat could not help blushing again when she noticed her skin tingling with pleasure while she tightly tied everything off with a double knot so the wind would not tear the hood away. The cool, smooth vinyl was caressing her neck and cheeks and it was a sensation she loved. That telltale warmth between her legs was back as well and another guilty flush lit her face until it glowed like a lighthouse.

This stupid tying up thing as well.

It also made her feel the same way, only much stronger. Being tied up was the best thing in the world; it made her feel good in a way nothing else ever did but… It also made her feel very bad as well.

Sureerat angrily banged the gate shut behind her while she thought about Andy and the tying up games they played every week. A couple of garishly painted bemos swooped downwards like vultures hoping for a fare but she impatiently waved them away. She wanted to cry. Half the fun was wearing her raincoat outdoors while it was raining and watching everything ineffectually bouncing off the gleaming yellow vinyl but Benny somehow managed to spoil everything. Now she had to deal with this guilt thing all over again. Each heavy raindrop was a bullet but she hardly noticed the machinegun fusillade strafing her raincoat while she continued thinking about what she was going to do. Should do. The best and easiest thing to do would be calling off their tying up games altogether. But could she? Sureerat did not know.

In an agony of indecision, she blindly walked down the long winding road. She did not even notice the deep buttercup glow of her rainwear under the weak light of the day. The wind and rain was a swirling vortex that jealously tried to snatch away her raincoat as if angered anybody should wear something so bright and yellow in defiance of the depressive gloom of the day. Far below, Sureerat could see a million white horses exuberantly marching along atop each dark green comber rolling ahead like an advancing army. Their manes flared and died in the wind but they hardly registered while she thought about Andy and… being tied up.

A single solitary freighter stolidly plodding ahead was the sole source of visible life and Sureerat idly watched the ship butting against the waves while she tried to decide what to do about her life. It was a wraith behind the curtain of spray and wind and she did not envy the crew setting out on a day like this. There was no way that anybody would be heading out today, not unless they either had a death wish or a boat the size of the Queen Mary. There would be no fresh fish at the market tomorrow unless the weather cleared quickly.

Rain continued beating a military tattoo upon the shoulders of her gleaming raincoat while she continued thinking about what to do.

It was just so unfair.

She had no right to keep asking Andy if he would tie her up every Sunday. Sureerat flushed again while she thought about the way he unprotestingly wore his raincoat every time she decided to wear hers during one of their tying up games. If she said she wanted to have her hands tied to her feet, he complied without a murmur. Andy always tied her up nice and tight because he knew how much she loved being bound as tightly as possible. Really tight. The best bit was when he began hauling on the ropes attaching her hands to her feet and kept going until her bound hands touched the heels of her feet. Sureerat bit her lip while a strange, vibrant heat flared outward like a bonfire. She did not have to slip one exploratory finger downward to know how wet her privates would be. Even simply thinking about being tied up always made her feel that way and she could not help wondering what he thought whenever she asked him to pull each rope tighter until her hands touched her feet.

On the other hand… Andy really seemed to enjoy tying her up. His thing was always so hard when he tied her up. He was the one who brought the rope around. Sureerat could hear voices and she guiltily glanced around but it was only a couple of old men sheltering under the porch of their home. She smiled and waved back after they called out a greeting. They were always there, day in day out. Neither ever seemed to be without a filthy, pungent kretek cigarette jammed between their gnarled lips. She liked their reliable comforting presence. As long as they were around, nothing would change. Mmmm… Did that mean he… actually enjoyed tying her up?

There was no doubt he looked at her… differently whenever she was tied up. Not the avaricious lust she hated seeing on the faces of construction guys or even the boldest of her classmates but… his face was always full of love and… wonder while he studied her bound body. He couldn't take his eyes away from the rope between her legs either.

Confused and distressed, Sureerat lifted her head before looking around. Buses, bemos and cars were all roaring around with a familiar abandon that made her shudder before edging further away from the edge of the bumpy, pot-holed road. If she wasn't run over, she was certain to cop a faceful of dirty, muddy water and that wasn't much fun either. There were more people as well and as usual, she was the only one wearing a shiny yellow raincoat although she knew that would change soon.

They never seemed closer than the times he tied her up before kissing and cuddling her and she shivered with delight. Although they shared a kiss and cuddle every day, it was always so much more intense while she was helplessly bound as well. Tomorrow. She could hardly wait until tomorrow when…

But what if I say no? I shouldn't be doing this.

Sureerat sucked in a huge draught of cool air before sighing so heavily the air whistled out between her lips. She was reaching the outskirts of Semarang and there were a lot of people around. While she strolled down the wet, rain-slick footpath, Sureerat sadly studied each member of the community she knew so well. A sate stall vendor was already optimistically touting for business although there were few takers at this time of day. His tray was still full of various kinds of skewered meat waiting to be tossed upon a charcoal grill and her mouth watered. She loved sate, which they always served with a spicy and delicious peanut sauce. Yummy. He waved and she raised a hand in greeting before hurrying on. A couple of kaki lima men and their colorful snack carts on the shoulder of the road were doing better. Several bemos were buying chips and cigarettes while a couple of pedestrians patiently waited their turn to be served.

No one else liked being tied up the way she did. No one else liked wearing plastic either and she flushed again after spotting a couple of people watching her progress. She stood out in the most embarrassing way possible. Rainwear was a strictly utilitarian thing. Only the motorcycle and bemo drivers were kitted out anything like the way she'd done herself up. They had to have some kind of protection during this weather or they'd freeze. Her friends wore their raincoats because they had to. Sureerat was sure she was the only one in the world who liked plastic and being tied up.

I'm not normal. She bit her lip before fighting back the tears she could feel welling out of her eyes. If there was one thing she wanted above all else, it was normalcy. Sureerat wanted to be like her friends who talked about boys (she'd never told them about the exact nature of her relationship with Andy) instead of thinking about plastic raincoats or rope. What would they say if they knew how she dreamed about having a rope pulled between her legs – in such a way it would rub her in the most intimate way possible? Everyone would laugh and tease her.

Suddenly Sureerat spotted a brilliant flash of yellow appearing around a corner and she smiled. It was Meylani. Quiet and studious, Melly was one of her best friends. She was a bit of a loner, which was one reason they got along well. Sureerat was painfully, acutely aware that she was in no way a member of the 'in' clique nor was she ever likely to receive an invitation. Therefore, she felt a kinship with her skinny bespectacled friend that went beyond their geographical closeness (Melly lived just down the road). They called her 'Four Eyes' as well. Although the girl never said much, Sureerat valued her wise, calm counsel because of her mature, common sense outlook upon life. Melly was also one of the few people who apparently found nothing unusual about her insistence in wearing her shiny yellow raincoat as often as humanly possible. In fact, Melly was one of the few students who conscientiously wore her raincoat all the way to or from school, although she usually took it off once it stopped raining.

She also liked Melly's soft, mellifluous voice very much as well. For a reason she was unable to identify, it always had a calming effect upon her. Not today though.

"Hi Sureerat, how are you?" it said and she carefully studied her friend before replying. Melly was also wearing an almost exactly identical slicker (she favoured a cute sou'wester with a wide brim over the drawstring hood of hers) and Sureerat closed her eyes before exhaling. Suddenly, she felt a little less out of place. The feeling that everyone knew how just much she liked wearing her raincoat was lessening. Melly helped provide an unwitting camouflage. She'd even buttoned her glistening raincoat all the way up to the collar to help ward off the unnatural chill of the day. She looked so cute and Sureerat guiltily noticed the way her privates were tingling with excitement while she watched the gleaming yellow-clad Melly approaching her with an intoxicating crackle of vinyl that turned her heart into jelly. So wrong… What's the matter with me? However, Sureerat hardly had time to dwell upon her increasingly gloomy thoughts while Melly bounced alongside like an over-enthusiastic puppy being taken out for a walk. Her thin, elfin face was glowing and Sureerat could not help smiling. Melly was a perennially happy individual unlike some of her other friends who always found something to complain about.

She didn't have the heart to foist her problems upon Melly. She wouldn't understand. No one would. "Yeah, I'm fine," she lied. "You?"

"Oh, I'm glad to hear that," Melly bubbled. "Yep, I'm fine as well." She glanced around. "Bit wet today," she quietly observed. "Real raincoat weather," she giggled.

"Yeah," Sureerat sighed. She did not know what to say. It was raining more heavily than ever and she wished it would stop so she could take off her raincoat.

"We look like a pair of those ducks," Melly mused.

"Ducks?"

"You know, the yellow ones we used to play with in the bath?"

"Oh, yes, I remember," Sureerat cautiously replied before turning away so Melly wouldn't see her face. Meylani was bound to ask what was wrong and it was something she just couldn't talk about.

"You OK?" Melly said. Her expressive face was full of concern. "You're quiet today."

Before Sureerat had a chance to compose a suitable reply, a loud voice hailed them and she inwardly cringed before breathily sighing under her breath. It was Yuli.

Nobody ever knew which way the breeze was blowing with Yulianti Setiady. However, it was obviously blowing the wrong way and her heart sank.

She looked anything but happy. Yuli's face was a barometer and it was telling her that she could expect stormy weather ahead. Although Sureerat liked her steadfast, loyal friend, Yuli had such a combative personality. She was always arguing about something or other between complaining about anything that didn't meet her approval. Sometimes a conversation with Yulianti was like talking with a retarded tree. At least she was honest though. Sureerat could not tolerate liars or other dishonest types. They simply oozed the most disgusting amount of yukkiness. Like the cans of green slime Benny bought from the local toyshop. At least one always knew where he or she stood with Yuli. Even if she tended to speak her mind without really thinking about the consequences afterwards. It was a trait as nice as it was irritating. There were times it came in handy though. She could always be relied upon to give an honest opinion if they were out clothes shopping down the local mall. Yuli was well known for her impeccable taste and Sureerat was a major beneficiary of her counsel.

While Yuli tripped along the uneven, litter-strewn footpath, she surreptitiously studied the unhappy Chinese features of her friend's face. Although her name was a hundred percent Indonesian, Sureerat knew she was actually ethnic Chinese. She also knew that although Yuli had been christened with a Chinese name, her parents gave her an Indonesian one as well so that she would not stand out as so quite obviously Chinese in a country that resented the power and wealth of the Chinese business class – like her family as well. However, Yuli's classically Chinese features tended to give the game away, Sureerat privately thought but she dared not suggest as much. She generally wore her glossy midnight black hair swept backwards thus emphasising the lovely oval of her face and enormous dark slanted almond eyes framed by an expressive pair of eyelashes. Her nose was the cutest little button, it was probably a little too flat to be called beautiful but Sureerat liked it. Yuli's ears were equally tiny and delicate in keeping with the appearance of the girl. There was nothing in the least delicate about Yuli though. She had a voice capable of shrinking the toughest guys until they were a quivering mess. Her temper was legendary and Sureerat wondered what was eating Yuli while fell alongside the pair.

"I hate this weather," Yuli began without further preamble.

"Why?" Melly curiously asked.

"I hate my stupid raincoat as well," Yuli complained and Sureerat cringed before glancing around as if making sure nothing was about to run them down. Yuli was wearing a bright yellow PVC slicker with a set of matching plastic press-studs. As usual, she'd left the hood down in favour of a cheap foldaway umbrella which was clearly not up to the job of keeping her hair dry although Sureerat dared not point out as much.

Melly rolled her eyes before timidly asking, "Why?"

"It looks so stupid and babyish," Yuli moaned. "I don't know why we have to wear them."

"Oh, come on Yuli," Melly said. "You know we have to wear our raincoats when it's wet so everyone can see us."

"That's just it." Yuli rounded on Melly before continuing. "Everyone can see us. You know people laugh at us because we have to wear these stupid yellow raincoats to school." Her voice rose like an angry banshee. "No one else has to. Only us."

"Yeah," Sureerat sighed. "I know." She could not understand how wearing something that gave her so much spine-tingling pleasure could be as roundly and universally condemned by practically everybody else and her spirits plummeted like a rock. Yuli's contempt only emphasised how strange and weird this thing about plastic or vinyl was. She did not even want to think about Yuli's reaction if she even mentioned how much she enjoyed putting her raincoat on over bare skin before being tied up with it covering her naked body. She would tell everybody. A secret was never safe with her.

"Safety yellow," Yuli sneered. "My boyfriend says all his friends tease him coz he has to wear a raincoat to school." She looked at Sureerat. "I can't understand why you like wearing your raincoat so much. Or you either, Melly."

Oh no… Sureerat bit her lip. Was she really that obvious? Did Yuli know? She could hear a tiny voice deep within her brain telling her not to be stupid, that Yuli was only slagging off the same way she moaned about something or other every day. It wasn't personal, she didn't mean half what she was saying. However, all she'd heard was, 'You like wearing your raincoat.' It was a taunt that lanced her soul like a knife.

"It's not that bad really," Meylani carefully answered. "I don't mind wearing it. Do you, Sureerat?" she appealed.

She wanted to scream. The whole world was going mad. What would Yuli say if she said yes? She could feel Yuli's piercing eyes watching her and she shuddered before elaborately shrugging. "I don't mind either."

"Well, I mind," Yuli moaned. "So a couple of people get run over? They should've been watching what they were doing. They got hit coz they didn't look. Now they say we have to wear these stupid safety yellow raincoats, like they'll save our lives."

Melly's voice was low and embarrassed. "That's not a very nice thing to say. They said the bus driver never saw them coz it was so dark and wet."

"Because they weren't looking either," Yuli argued before angrily continuing. "You know now we've got that stupid note we've got to give to our parents to sign saying we've put our raincoats on before leaving the house?"

"Because half the guys were only putting them on straight before arriving," Melly mildly answered.

Sureerat wanted to cry. She felt worse than ever. This talk about raincoats was driving her crazy. I am crazy, she sadly thought. I'm so strange and weird. I want to wear it all the time. Why am I the only one who likes wearing plastic raincoats? The longer this conversation went on, the less she understood herself. Sureerat could not understand what it was about herself that drove the compulsion to wear plastic as often as humanly possible. Melly and Yuli were still arguing and she wished they would shut up. "Look, why don't we talk about something else?" she pleaded. "See any good films lately? Anything interesting on TV?"

Melly's face wore a look of relief and Yuli opened her mouth to say something before meeting their gaze and looking away. A moment later, she reluctantly answered, "Yeah… Saw this cops and robbers show last night."

"Yeah? Any good?" Sureerat asked. That kind of thing was standard fare around here. Her gun-happy country devoured such shows, which she always watched if she had the time – in case there was someone tied up on the TV. The wildly improbable plots and almost constant action weren't terribly exciting (one gun battle after another tended to merge into each other after a while) but watching the tied up captives (they were always girls as well) taken hostage by their kidnappers was much more interesting. She wished it was her taking the place of the bound and gagged heroines. They always used plenty of rope as well. That was another thing about these shows. The girls very rarely freed themselves. It was always the action heroes who gave them freedom after killing all the baddies without receiving a scratch themselves.

"It was OK," Yuli shrugged. Her face suddenly brightened. "It was nothing special though. These guys robs a bank, takes a couple of tellers hostage, tie 'em up and says they'll kill them if the police try rescue them. So they call the Special Forces who somehow manage to kill all the bank robbers – and rescue the girls." Her face suddenly wrinkled. "Can you imagine being tied up like that?" Her voice was suddenly animated. "I think I would just die if I had to be gagged as well. Poor girls. They couldn't say anything." She suddenly pursed her lips before performing a passable imitation of a thoroughly gagged heroine. "Mmph, mmph. What a horrible thing to do."

Sureerat flinched before cringing again. Yuli was even laughing about this tying up thing as well.

Well, of course. She was so normal. So was Melly. Not like her.

"I don't know how anyone could like being tied up," Yulianti said. "They'd have to pay me heaps and heaps before I'd ever agree to something like that."

"But you're not on TV," Melly pointed out. "So why worry?"

"Well, how would you feel about being tied up?" Yuli growled.

"I don't know. I've never been tied up," Melly replied.

"Oh for crying out aloud," Yuli sighed before abruptly turning and facing Sureerat. "What about you? How would you feel if someone tied you up? Tied you up so tight you couldn't escape, couldn't move?"

Sureerat blanched before blushing. How could she possibly explain that being so tightly bound and gagged she couldn't move or make a single intelligible noise was the one thing she loved above all else? Being tied up was the best thing in the world. It was only when Andy bound and gagged her she felt truly alive. She lived to be tied up. Why did this kind of thing have to happen? She felt like a fly trapped in a spider's web helplessly watching a very large, very hairy arachnid moving in for the kill.

Was God punishing her because all she could think about was seeing Andy again and being tied up? There was nothing normal or natural about being so tightly bound she couldn't move so much as a single inch in any direction. Especially the hands-to-feet tie she loved so much. Yuli would freak out if she saw her bound like that. Suddenly the heavenly hours she spent helplessly bound and gagged became anything but. There had to be something very, very wrong about being tied up like that if people like Yuli felt so strongly about the subject.

"Sureerat?"

modelstied presents more bondage:

"Sorry," Sureerat sighed. "I was just thinking."

"About what?" Yuli probed and Sureerat bit her lip. She was only trying to provoke her into saying something stupid.

"Nothing…"

"How can you be thinking about nothing?" Yuli teased.

Oh, shut up! Sureerat wanted to say but she managed to button her lips just in time before the words slipped out. "Just was," she sighed before nervously watching a bemo darting around a huge truck carrying a full load of rice. It was on the wrong side of the road and she wasn't a hundred percent sure if its driver was fully on the job.

"Yeah, yeah. So how would you feel if someone tied you up?" Yuli pushed.

Sureerat closed her eyes. She wanted to scream.

Yuli was watching her like a hawk and she gulped before swallowing. If there was one thing she was no good at, it was lying. Her face was an open door that invited everyone to see what was going on within her mind. Sometimes there were times Sureerat wished she had been born with the ability to lie like a politician and this was one of them.

It was raining harder than ever and she glanced downward as if fending away each stinging dart. She couldn't meet the sarcastic expression Yuli's face wore. Her friend was clearly waiting for an answer and she had no idea what to say. Each heavy raindrop plunged downward with a suicidal force before vanishing between her feet. The concrete footpath had given way to a light, sandy gravel and the only trace of their passing was the untold billions of miniature craters that each created. Sureerat wished she could disappear just like the rain rapidly soaking the ground beneath her feet.

If she said 'yes', Yuli would be all over her like a tropical rash. She would never give up until she'd wormed the truth out of her.

Sureerat knew all this was her fault. She deserved everything she got. This tying up thing was not normal and it was very wrong as well. However, she simply could not bear the idea of telling Yuli. It'd be all over school within hours and she'd be a laughing stock. Sureerat likes being tied up! She likes wearing yellow plastic raincoats! It would definitely spell the end of her life and she shuddered. There would be nowhere to hide, nowhere to run. Water was streaming down the gleaming vinyl of her raincoat and she bit her lip before timidly glancing upwards.

"Sureerat?" Impatient.

"I…" She did not know what to say. Just hope Yuli wouldn't pick up on her hesitancy for what it was. She was good at sussing out people. Suddenly a loud 'bang!' interrupted her reply. Startled, she looked upwards. Yuli's ruined umbrella was crazily flapping about like the brightly coloured bunting decorating the street.

Furious, Yulianti jammed the raincoat hood around her face before tying the drawstring tight under her chin so the increasing wind wouldn't tear it away. Melly was trying very hard not to laugh. Despite her increasing awkwardness and embarrassment, Sureerat could not help giggling before stopping. Yuli's eyes were bright, hard dark coals of anger and she hurriedly glanced away before quickly replying, "I don't know! I've never been tied up either."

"Oh, you're hopeless, both of you," Yuli growled. "I hate this stupid weather!"

Melly couldn't resist. "Maybe the rainy season is already here."

Yuli gave Melly such a sour look that the normally unflappable girl actually flinched under the venom of her gaze. "Oh, shut up, ok?"

The three girls lapsed into an awkward silence while they strolled down the rain-lashed road. Thoroughly upset, Sureerat had no idea what to say. She hated fights of any kind and it seemed that whatever she said would simply set Yuli off again. Adding to her distress was the unkind words that her friend had to say about raincoats and being tied up. Yuli was right about everything and Sureerat could not help feeling more self-conscious than ever while they carefully negotiated the increasingly crowded streets of Semarang.

There were several other sets of uniforms around and Sureerat could see their owners grinning while they traipsed along. She'd never really noticed the mocking smiles or occasional taunts of their peers none of whom were wearing anything like the gleaming yellow rainwear that they had to leave on until reaching the safety of school but today was much different. She knew they were laughing at them and in her confused, overwrought mind, she imagined that every comment was being personally directed her way. Why on earth had she tied the hood so tightly around her head so that only her face was visible? No one else tied the hood around her face the way she did. They all knew how much she liked wearing her plastic raincoat as well as being tied up. At least they could not see her ears burning so that was something. Normally, she would have been enjoying the crinkly, crackling rustle the vinyl made around her neck and cheekbones but not today.

Sureerat bit her lip before blinking away the tears she could feel forming. It was all so hard. Normally she would have revelled in the bad weather but Benny and Yuli had successfully spoiled everything. The wind was steadily getting colder while dark, elephantine rain-laden clouds scudded and bellied overhead before disgorging more moisture. There was no longer any pleasure in listening to the rat-a-tat-tat of rain striking her slicker nor watching the way oceans of water slid down the smooth vinyl. The street was awash with muddy rainwater, which as usual, the clogged concrete drains couldn't cope with and she was distantly glad they had the dubious protection of the high footpath. All she could think about was reaching the safety of school and seeing Andy again. He alone knew how much she loved wearing her raincoat and being tied up. At least he would understand. He always understood everything she said or did.

Even so. Sureerat decided that she would tell him she did not want him to tie her up any more and her misery increased. She could not imagine going without the security and comfort of the very tight tie-ups she loved being put into or his kisses afterwards. What would he say if she told him she did not want him to tie her up anymore? Would he be happy? Pleased she'd finally come to her senses? Decided to act normal like everybody else? Upset? Her skin crawled. She didn't want to hurt him.

She bit her lip again, hard. There was the way Andy put his fingers in her pussy as well. She loved it when he slid them in so far that they practically vanished before rubbing her… there. That place where she always came after rubbing that little button thingy. Sureerat knew he enjoyed doing that. She could tell if someone was lying or faking it and there was no way he was pretending. Did Andy know that she only ever came like that whenever she was as tightly tied up as possible?

Thoroughly anguished, Sureerat shook her head. He'd put his tongue down there the last time he'd tied her up and it'd been… so beautiful. All she'd been able to think about was obtaining the ultimate relief but Andy hadn't let her while he continued licking the hard little round button thing immediately above the flaring lips guarding the inner workings of her privates. Bound the way she was, with a huge gag filling her mouth she'd been unable to do a single thing about the exquisite agony of the sexual torment he'd lavished upon her until talking pity and… She'd come and come and… Afterwards, his tongue had tasted of her juices, her body. Mmmm… I liked that. He couldn't believe it when I asked him to take off my gag before doing the same thing for him before being untied. I know he liked it when I took it in my mouth. I could tell. All that white stuff over my face. It was so sticky. Her privates were tingling with a heat that wouldn't go away and Sureerat wished she could rub them or at least do something about assuaging the deep ache she knew only one thing was capable of relieving.

Being tied up – tight. Andy. His thing was always so hard when he played with her bound body and Sureerat could not help wishing that he would put it in her. The Indonesian word for intercourse was 'bercinta' – but almost everybody preferred the popular Western interpretation – fuck – to fuck. She wanted Andy to really fuck her with a desperation bordering on the obscene – but… he never did. Bound hand and foot, gagged, legs spread wide apart, ready for him. She closed her eyes before sighing as her pussy tingled. If anything, he was a little too nice at times. He respected her in a way few other people did. Although it was one reason she loved and trusted him, Sureerat nevertheless wished he'd been a little bolder. She would have said yes, let him do anything he wanted because it was love. Everything he did was borne out of his love for her, his desire to make her happy and she could not imagine what it would be like doing it with the one person she adored above all else. She instinctively knew that sex with Andy would be like nothing else she'd ever experienced. Sureerat wanted to feel as though she was truly as one with him, join Andy in a way that would bind them together forever. She wanted to tell Andy how much she loved him with words and action, give all of herself to him.

She wanted Andy to tie her up again, really tight, as tight as he possibly could before…

But why? Why am I thinking like this? Sureerat knew she was supposed to be telling Andy that she no longer wanted to play.

Sureerat was torn. It was all terribly confusing and all she wanted was the safety and security of his arms. As long as she could see him, everything would be all right.

* * * * *

The street was a sea of buttercup yellow but Sureerat hardly noticed her raincoated friends surging through the open entrance of Semarang High while she looked for Andy. She knew the bus would be parked behind the gates and she quickened her step.

Suddenly the yellow sea parted and she gasped with horror before starting forwards. Unfortunately, the lights were against her and all she could do was helplessly watch while the mini bus carrying Andy and the basketball team abruptly pulled out amidst an indignant cacophony of horns before determinedly belching down the road. She could not even see Andy. The windows were so misted over with condensation that all she could see was a series of shadowy figures inside. With every metre it carried Andy away, her spirits plummeted until all she could do was stare like a zombie.

The feeling of dread was back and it was worse than ever.

She wanted to scream. Sureerat could not understand why she had a sudden, horrible premonition that this trip would end in flaming disaster. She was never going to see Andy again and Sureerat screwed her eyes shut before tearfully watching the departing bus until it vanished in a mist of rain and the smoke that always hung like a funereal pall over downtown Semarang where the wind rarely blew it away. It just couldn't compete against the sheer volume of traffic that clogged the streets during practically every hour of day save for public holidays or the very small hours of morning. .

"Come on, Sureerat!" Yuli again. Impatient as usual and she gustily exhaled before allowing the girl to drag her across the road. Yuli was always like this when it was wet and she had to wear her raincoat. She could hardly wait to tear it off after reaching the safety of the enclosed schoolgrounds. Her behaviour was in complete contrast to that of Sureerat who always left her rainwear on as long as humanly possible.

Why on earth did the feeling something awful was going to happen just wouldn't go away?

Normally conscientous and diligent unlike her chatterbox friends – especially the class gossip Yuli), Sureerat was told off more than once for not paying attention, much to the astonishment of her classmates. It was Maths – and the desk next to hers was conspicuously empty. Andy wasn't there and all she could think abnout was the man she loved being carried out of her life and… The sense of dread was stronger than ever and her jangling nerves refused to settle down. The spacious classroom was muggy in the thick, humid air adding to the oppressiveness of the day. It was still pouring outside. Students continued to straggle in, resplendent in their glistening yellow rainwear – normally it was a sight which delighted her but not today.

Lunchtime came and went. Sensing Sureerat's mood, her sympathetic friends did not probe too much into the cause of her misery. Ever supportive, understanding Melly sat with her while she picked at her food, shielding her from her chattering, talkative classmates inside the canteen. Even Yuli kept her counsel, a small mercy for which she was grateful. All she wanted to know that Andy was safe. She didn't want to think about him out there on those perilous ocean roads. Badly made, maintained and as greasy and slippery as a skating rink in any kind of wet weather, they were a death trap that claimed dozens of lives every year. Trucks – and buses went over the cliff all the time.

The last class of the day was Art. Wisely, Semarang High scheduled it for Friday afternoons when the senior student's attention was likely to be flagging after another guelling week of classes and study. It was a welcome way to end the week and one that everybody, even the least artistic looked forwards to. Unlike the other more formal classes she attended, they were allowed to laugh and chatter between completing their set 'assignments'. Normally, she loved painting but today she even found it hard to concentate on the study she was doing of a seashell. The rain was bucketing down harder than ever, hammering the roof, and Sureerat could not help wondering how Andy was going. They should have arrived by now and he would be-

A sudden instinct made her glance up. A dripping teacher was standing in the doorway. His face was ashen and her heart congealed with horror as he cried, "Something terrible has happened!"

The din shuddered to a halt as he approached. His eyes were wild, staring. They met hers and she held her breath. The classroom was spinning around her head. With a sudden, awful, shocking clarity she knew that Andy was… "No… noooo…" she moaned.

"I… oh- I'm very sorry, Sureerat." Clearly distressed, he stumbled over his words…

Sureerat hardly heard the terrible words. "bus crash ... No survivors ... Andy dead…"

She was distantly aware of a wild, high-pitched terrible screaming filling her head, battering her eardrums before realising that it was issuing out of her mouth. Meylani, her face stricken, was rushing to her side… The room spun again, suddenly horribly. The tiled floor rushed to meet her.

* * * * *

The flowers smelled nice and she sleepily smiled before stirring. Voices. She could hear voices. Soft. Soothing. Confused and suddenly scared, she stirred. The room was much too bright. Why was-

"Sureerat?"

Sureerat groggily shook her head. She must be dreaming, that was it. All she could think about was escaping. They'd been dark, terrible and she instinctively knew that something very bad had happened. She didn't want to wake but she must.

That voice again. Insistent. Pleading. "Sureerat… Sur-"

The room was very white and she blinked before focusing her eyes. She was in hospital. Wha- …

"Sureerat… Oh Sureerat, my darling daughter…" Her mother. She was crying. Tears were rolling down her face.

"Wha… What happened?" she weakly asked. "Why… why am I in… hospital?"

"Oh Sureerat… You don't…" Mrs Vilaijaroentrakul gazed into her eyes before looking away.

Andy… Where's Andy? Why isn't he here? He should be- She blinked again as her overloaded brain caught up. Andy… He was gone. The bus… over the cliff. Exploded. Must have been quick… never knew what happened. Andy… Dead. He was dead. "No! Noooooo!" she screamed. "Andy! Andyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!"

The sting of the needle in her arm was a merciful blessing. Gratefully, she allowed darkness to claim her again as grief threatened to split her young heart apart.

* * * * *

Much later Sureerat would remember the first terrible days as the 'lost week'. Time ceased to hold any meaning for her. Always there was the endless, wrenching grief, a screaming which continued without stopping until the needle plunged her into oblivion.

She'd never thought, imagined that her heart could hurt so much. It was a phyical ache; one which never went away. Her life was empty. Without Andy, there was nothing. Friends came and went, murmuring sympathetic nothings into her ears but she didn't hear a single word.

Andy… All she could think about was the man she'd loved so much, loved heart and soul, loved with every fiber of her being. He was so lively, so vital. She couldn't believe that he was… gone, wrenched away from her – just like that. Always she expected him to appear in the doorway with his engaging smile that pierced her heart every time his lips opened.

She'd never even had a chance to say goodbye either, tell him how much she loved him…

She didn't know which was worse, her overwhelming grief – or guilt. It was all her fault this happened. Maybe it was God's way of punishing her – chastisement for her wanton, wicked ways. There was nothing natural about being tied up – or her obsession with plastic rainwear. She'd killed Andy – and all the people on the bus as surely as if she'd lined them up in front of a wall and shot them. Sureerat knerw that she could never tell anybody. She would be condemned, diven out. She moaned again, wracked with misery and guilt. The rational side of her brain couldn't cope. It was trying to tell her that none of this was her fault; that the accident would have happened anyway. It was not her fault that drunk truck driver side-swiped the minibus, pushing it over the cliff as his vehicle slid sideways on the slippery road.

Andy… Sureerat could not believe that she could miss anybody so much. Andy's smile, the way his eyes sparkled when he spoke to her, the warmth of his arms, his soft lips… the wonderful kisses that they'd shared together… being tied up… strong fingers pulling each set of cords or knots tight… his awed delight – and joy when she'd brought him to orgasm with her mouth for the first time… when… Oh Andy… Andy, I miss you so much! She closed her eyes again as her chest heaved with sobs. Never again would she see Andy. She would never again experience the sweet kiss of impossibly tight ropes as he bound her. Most of all, she would never enjoy his company again. Her world was dark and empty. All the light, all the pleasure had gone, torn away in one shocking moment of madness.

* * * * *

Sureerat never imagined that it was possible to cry so much, that her eyes were capable of so many tears. When she thought that she couldn't possibly cry any more, again the tears came. The ache in her heart was a cancer, eating her alive from inside out and there was no cure for it.

Sureerat did not want to believe that Andy was gone, in fact she almost half believed that everything would be alright, that she would wake to discover it was only a bad dream – until the day of his funeral, the last of a series of terribly sad funerals she was forced to endure along with her devastated classmates.

Andy's funeral was a nightmare. She sat, sad, unseeing, unhearing as prayers were read for Andy's soul before dumbly watching in a haze of disbelieving misery and gut-wrenching sorrow as his coffin disappeared into the ground. It seemed that half of Semarang turned out for his funeral – he'd been immensely popular with everybody – but she barely noticed the other mourners or well-wishers as they all took turns to comfort her.

* * * * *

It was as if a giant whirlwind came along to suck all the joy out of her life. Sureerat wondered if she could ever be happy again after returning to school some weeks later. Nothing was the same, indeed life would never be the same again without Andy. She missed him more and more with every passing day. No matter where she went, there was always something – or somebody that reminded her of him. She avoided the kaki lima cart where they'd bought breakfast together – the pain of his passing was still too raw for her to endure conversation with its sympathetic, understanding owner. The monsoon rains came and went, but she no longer received any pleasure out of wearing her shiny yellow rainwear – although she conscientously put everything on for the walk to or home from school, but it always came off as soon as it stopped raining.

Not even Benny or his antics (he'd gone out of his way to be nice to her since Andy's death), or the funniest TV shows ever managed to raise a smile, much less a giggle. All she could think about was Andy. Her family and friends began to despair.

Sureerat knew that she was drifting apart from her friends – it was not that they wished to hurt her, she was just incapable of reciprocating their friendly overtures or inviations to sit with them during recess or lunchtime. She disn't know what to do – or say. Eventually, tiring of their efforts, they stopped trying. Only Meylani, dear, sweet, kind loyal Melly – and Yulianti remained, refusing to give up on their friend. The change in her obstreperous friend was amazing as Yuli quietly sat with Sureerat, allowing her to remain alone with her thoughts.

The deep hurt never went away – the nights were the worst, when she cried herself to an exhausted sleep, bitter salty tears that stung her eyes like fire. Her tying-up toys (including her favourite ball-gag) and plastic rainwear remained unused, hidden away deep within her closet – they reminded her too much of Andy – along with exacerbating her guilt.

She found some solace in her study – the abstract concepts in her textbooks temporaily allowed her to escape Semarang and Andy for a few short hours – but even the books were not enough.

Sureerat knew that she had to go, leave Semarang, leave her house. They contained too many memories for her to deal or cope with. She could not sit by the pool without seeing Andy and his beautiful smile – or the mats she'd lain on whilst tightly bound and gagged. They reminded her of the blissful, halycon days she'd spent with Andy. She didn't know how to handle her conflicting emotions, her terribly raw grief or guilt. She missed being tied up so much – even thinking about being bound and gagged never failed to produce the familiar tingle deep within her body – but at the same time, she perversely, irrationally blamed her addiction to the ropes for losing Andy. It was better if she left so she could pick up what remained of her life. She hoped.

Sureerat's parents were not enthusiastic about her departure. A close family, they enjoyed her company very much but they too, were understanding how she felt. Therefore, they did not oppose her move to Jakarta after graduating (with honours) from school, where she planned to read Indonesian Law at Jakarta University. She liked the neat logic of law – even if it was more convoluted than most countries. An idealist, she hoped to put her knowledge to good use in helping her country develop a fair and just legal system that benefited all.

The move was not a success.

Although she excelled in her studies, graduating summa cum laude, Andy never left her mind. He was always there, inside her mind. She made no friends, preferring her company to that of any others. The few people who tried soon gave up after realising that they were unlikely to get anything out of her – others found her overwhelming sadness repellant and kept their distance. Although she half-heartedly dated a few men, they all proved single-minded in their determination to get inside her panties. Sureerat couldn't believe their gall. It was really strange though. They were all 'normal' guys (whatever that word meant) who showed no interest in anything other than ordinary sex - but none of them respected – or loved her in the same way as Andy. They weren't interested in conversation, her company – or anything else except sex. She even had to call the campus police after one insistent suitor all but tried to rape her. Andy, oh Andy… He'd always tied her up so tight – but his ropes were a benediction, a symbol of his love for her. They'd set her free in a way nothing else achieved.

After yet another painful visit back home, Sureerat decided that the only way she could cope, the only chance she had of exorcising the demons in her mind was to make a clean break. She had to leave Indonesia, make a new start elsewhere.

Australia beckoned.

She'd seen the sunburnt continent appear more than once on various TV documentaries and she'd been charmed by their cute wildlife (those funny wombats, the big kangaroos hopping along like that – and those gorgeous cute koala bears!), the beauty of their beaches and the cleanliness of the big cities. Sydney was so beautiful – the harbour and the Opera House were amazing but Melbourne exuded a timeless, gracious charm which she found immensely appealing. Maybe she might be happy here.

Her mind made up, she applied for – and swiftly obtained permanent residency. Australia was only too happy to invite such a distinguished academic – particularly after learning that she'd been head-hunted by Melbourne University for their Law faculty.