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Of course, I called my Bride-to-be early the morning after our engagement took place, assuming, of course, that now, at any rate, she would be ready to talk to me and let me see what she looked like. I was very disappointed when Fifi's lilting French accent told me,  "Fifi ees sorree, monsieur, but mam'selle ees out. Zere are so many arrangements to be made now. But she asks you to come to dinnaire tonight at 'alf past seven." You can be sure I rang the bell of the house on Sutton Place at exactly seven thirty. As the door swung open, I believe my mouth did, too. Instead of Fifi's flirtatious smile and boldly displayed figure, I found myself looking at the strangest maid I had ever dreamed of.
She had one body and two arms in the usual manner, but she had two heads and three legs. Further, the two heads which arose from the twin collars of the skin-fitting, black tunic, were smoothly covered by black kid discipline helmets, with very narrow eye-slits, and a perky cap of crisp, white lace on top of each gleaming head. The two outer, single legs were laced into conventional black kid thigh-boots, but the inner double leg was laced into a matching boot of the same leather, but made wide enough to contain two legs. Around the ankle of this special boot was a wide steel cuff, from each side of which extended an eight-inch length of chain to matching cuffs about the free legs, thus keeping the stride smartly regulated-not that it would have been very long in any case since these boots were ballet-style, that is, they held the foot stiffly vertical, without a heel-as-such, at all. A similar chain about two feet long joined matching cuffs about the two wrists. It was startling to watch this double being move as though regulated by a single brain. She-or should I say "they"?-closed the door, then, placing the double leg prettily forward and holding the very brief skirt out to the sides, bowed stiffly from the hips.
(It was obvious what must have been a single corset was so stiff that any movement from the waist was impossible.) Then she gestured for me to give her my hat, placed it on a table and preceded me to the living room. She moved with stilted grace, but perfect ease on the tips of her toes, in the usual three-legged race manner, the double leg moving forward first, then the two free outer legs taking the next pace. At each pace the ankle chains clinked musically. Opening the living room door, the double maid gestured me in. Dick was waiting for me inside, grinning at my amazement like a Cheshire cat.  "What-what on earth's the idea of that?" I asked, gesturing toward the door.  "This is Thursday, old boy. Maid's night out. Fifi's off, so Nicki and Vicki have pooled their resources to try and replace her. Cute, don't you think?"  "Darn right," I agreed, but continued, "You know, now that we're engaged and all, I was looking forward to seeing what my prospective bride looks like."  "Umm-hmm. We thought you'd feel that way. But Nicki has other ideas. You're not to see her face until the ceremonies are over and the honeymoon has begun."  "But... "No buts about it. Nicki's very obstinate in some ways. Still want to go through with it?"  "Of course I do."  At this point, the double maid returned with cocktails. As they bent forward to offer me the tray, Dick said,  "Let's see if you can spot your future wife. Which half is Nicki?" It was quite a problem. The pair stood impassive and expressionless as I stared from one half to the other. The two figures were identical in height and in every other way. Suddenly, I got a brain wave. Getting to my feet, I kissed the one on the left, full on her gagged mouth. I could feel the hard ball that stretched her jaws wide open. She trembled, but returned the pressure on her already severe gag.  "The one on the left is Nicki," I said, "No doubt of it." "Is he right, girls?" Dick had to ask them. "I'm darned if I can tell." They nodded. "Good. Now let's go and have dinner," he remarked. Until I left, almost at midnight, the double maid continued on her pretty toes, mincing about ,waiting on us; or standing rigid, double leg thrust forward, skirt gathered at the sides, where we could admire her. Nothing important happened the next couple of days, .while I was getting the license. Dick acted as spokesman for his masked and silent daughter, and when I inquired about which church the wedding was to take place in-assuming that, like all girls, she would want a church wedding, even if a very small one-he said,  "No church. Justice of the Peace; special one I know. Very old and almost blind. He'll be ideal. The wedding itself will be the smallest part of this marriage. The big ceremonies come later."  "Ceremonies?" I asked, bewildered. "Some sort of reception?"  "A reception is part of it. You'll just have to wait and see, Ted. Nicki's going to do this thing her way. It will be fun, though."  On Saturday, we were to drive out to the Justice of the Peace. I arrived, prompt to time, at noon. Fifi opened the door for me; for once, she was not restrained in any way. She was dressed for the street. Vicki came downstairs, also dressed to go out. Her skirt was tighter and shorter than is usually worn, and she wore a short fur cape. In addition, she had on a small hat and a black, mesh veil. A few moments later Nicki came down, accompanied by her father. She was dressed almost exactly like her mother, in a short, very tight skirt-so tight, Dick had to help her down the stairs. At first glance, she looked quite normal. But a longer look showed that beneath the veil, which hid more than it seemed to, she wore the flesh-coloured kid mask and adhesive features I had seen before. Further, she carried her arms very stiffly by her sides. I found that this was because a wide band of black leather was laced, corset-like, around her upper arms and body, just below the bosom. The fur cape concealed the fact that to her elbows her arms were pinned to her sides. We went out and got into the car. Fifi had a little difficulty because of her tight skirt; Vicki had to raise hers quite a bit, while Nicki had to have me slip hers up almost half way up her thighs before she could make it.
On the way up to the country, we stopped at a drive-in for a little lunch. Dick and I ate well; Fifi ate a little, because of the tight corset under her easy-fitting dress; Nicki, of course, had nothing, nor her mother, oddly enough. That was because her veil was part of an elastic stocking, anchored to her corset. We arrived at the Justice of the Peace. Dick went in first to "make the last-minute arrangements"-in other words, to fluster the old boy by a lot of loud talk, a very generous fee and finally, by knocking his glasses to the floor and "accidentally" stepping on them. When the girls and I walked in, poor Mr. Nathaniel N. Nivins didn't know if he was coming or going. But he knew the ceremony by heart and raced through it. When the time came for Nicki to say "I do," her mother, who was right behind her, whispered it for he and the old gentleman never knew the difference. Getting back into the car again, I was feeling pretty possessive, so I pulled my wife's skirt up. Dick, who was driving, produced a pair of straps from somewhere and handed them to me. They were just the right length to anchor her wrists to her thighs. The other three all rode in the front seat. Very considerate.

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