Silence in submission - bondage tutorial

"silence is golden" and so is submissiveness

A common problem among submissives, myself included is the gift of silence. Knowing when to be seen but not heard is a valuable trait for a submissive.

What is the need for a submissive to be quiet? - Silence when in a setting with your Dom allows him to take control easier. A Dom will find it hard to get a command in when a sub is chatting about 1000 different things.

Silent communication and silence for a submissive are worth working on for two reasons:

1. Silent communication can be great for vanilla settings. Through gestures your Dominant can communicate lots of power and control over you without drawing attention to your lifestyle.

2. Soon you will notice your speech more, and with some time you will learn to control it. Biting your tongue and finding the right time to discuss things are good goals to strive for. This will not happen over night.

This trait is easier "said than done". Many of us find a need to communicate, a need to express vital towards our submission. The respectful manner of only speak when you are spoken to can sometimes stymie that need to communicate and express. But, doing a few daily excercizes can soon make silence very golden.

The Excersizes

For one part of your day spend it in total silence - On the computer turn off the music. When reading, do the same. Think of small ways during your day to spend a quiet time, where you do not permit yourself to speak or hear speech. It is good to start out with 30 minutes of your day and then slowly move up to an hour or two.

If you have an idea during the day write it down - Sometimes there is no filter between what we think and what we say. Carrying a small pad of paper around or having it near you all day can help you create that filter. If you have an idea for dinner, something to tell your Master, or anything just write it down and then you can go over it with logic and find a good way to say it and the right time to say it.

Practice silent commands with your Dom - This is a great way to broaden your communication and also communicate when you are gagged in your next scene. Hand gestures for you are simply slow and stop motions. Hand gestures for your Dom can signify kneel, at rest and other positions. I am not going to list good gestures, because I think it is good for your Dominate to decide which gestures are best for both of you. It makes D/s more personal and sacred :)

Speak only when you are spoken to or if needing permission - This might be the hardest excersize. Which is why I put it last. Spend a day doing this. This is not an practice that should be done everyday, in my opinion. Because, this does not allow ample expression, but a submissive will learn to appreciate expression and the privledge a Dom gives to express much more, if confronted with a day like this.

Remember the Yin and Yang

Silence and expression is a delicate balance. Both Doms and subs should realize the importance of both. Respect for both partners is imperative. Respect towards the Top's Dominance and the bottom's need to express themselves.