Submission - the importance of finding your own level

Starting out on two left feet

When someone first realizes their submissive nature and that they want to funnel it into BDSM, there are a lot of choices that come along with that. Concerning sexuality, how-much devotion should you give to BDSM, finding the right person, your needs as a submissive and more.

Every one of us deep down inside has a level of submission. Now that level doesn't just tell us devotion, but it also tells us how much pain we want to take, how much time we want to devote to the BDSM lifestyle and much more.

Delving into the reality of BDSM Life

We all have our own personal level. That's easy to say, but a hard lesson to realize and stick by. As we learn and grow as submissives, most of us tend to meet other people involved in BDSM, on-line or off-line. Just as you are meeting me right now.

Humans are a judgemental species. We tend to judge each other and in BDSM that translates to judging someone's levels. Have you ever heard someone say "That person is not submissive enough" or "They are not a REAL or TRUE submissive"? What makes them think that? A level of pain the submissive is willing to endure or their level of servitude?

We all have these inner levels. For example, I'm not going to get in front of a single-tail anytime soon. Why? Because, I am mentally not ready and Lord Koi is not ready either. Does that make me less of a submissive, because I cannot take all or do not have enough expierence? The answer of course... no.

The best way to figure these levels out is to practice, do some self searching and write it all down. What do you want? Just because we are submissives doesn't mean our needs don't need to be filled just as much as Doms do. Knowing these levels makes you more in touch with your submission and safer in the world.

Why being unsure of your levels can be dangerous

So you go to a local play party. You meet a new Dom/me and they tell you, "All submissives must kneel and lick his boot before playing with him" and that "All submissives must parade around naked while playing with him". This is all good and fine for some, but what if you fear licking this man's boot because it is all caked with mud and you hate being naked. Then you shouldn't do these requested tasks.

I know some of us tend to meet a Dominant and become "very" submissive. So writing out your levels and bringing them along as a resume makes you become an organized submissive and still know what you want.

Keeping up with the BDSM Joneses

Just because suziesub does clothespin zippers every night before bed doesn't mean you should. Don't cross your levels until you are completely sure with yourself and your Dominant.