The Three States of Ecstasy

Old wounds can plague us but what if by some magic power we were able to heal those wounds by reopening them? What if there are parts of us that we can only get to by going through those painful openings? I'm not saying by any means that BDSM is a magic wand to solve all of our problems or that issues that belong in a therapist’s office can be resolved en chambres, but one can change and grow by working out these problems in a safe, protected environment with a loving and understanding partner. Sadomasochism comes with its own lovely dark spiritual energy that when properly channeled can transform both dominant and submissive. To some it will be a revelation that their dark side is as lovable and as desirable as the side that walks in the light. Others will see it as validation of something they have known all along: their dark side is fun and can give and accept love. In either case, to know with utter certainty that one’s shadow-self is deserving of love, and that one’s shadow can be loved and can give love, is a manifestation of the steps we have taken toward self-exploration and self-acceptance.

Few, if any, experiences can compare with the levels of sexual and emotional intensity evoked by the BDSM encounter. As I staled earlier, there are three states of altered consciousness, or the three levels of ecstasy, that can be achieved while enacting BDSM rituals. These states are sensation, catharsis, and finally, insight. Each state can provide a forum for the positive loss of inhibitions. These ecstatic states can reward one with new insights, knowledge, and creativity, and refine and define the self. We open ourselves up to sensation, whether it be physical, as in the case of a beating, or emotional, as when we experience the inner thrill of exposing our most secret selves. Sensation leads to catharsis, which is a purification or purgation that causes spiritual renewal or a release of tension. Catharsis from a spiritual BDSM experience can leave one feeling cleansed and released from old issues. From this, one can come away from the experience with feelings of well-being and new vigor, new zest for life. Catharsis through the BDSM experience is a release into a new purity and joyful satisfaction.

As boundaries are broadened and redefined, he can experience a loss of fear, sorrow, guilt, and personal limitations. In this ecstatic state, your submissive may lose a sense of time and place or the ability to form thoughts into words or structured sentences. (As the domina, you have to slay more grounded than he does.) This catharsis leads to insight into the self. He senses that his ultimate surrender of control can reap great rewards, like feelings of eternity, unity, and near-nirvana, increased self-knowledge and inspiration, and empowerment from increased self-esteem. To say nothing of how happy he should be to please his mistress. At no lime is the connection between the domina and her submissive more intense than during the spiritual and cathartic SM experience.

After I have entered an altered state of consciousness through my own personal SM ritual, I am able to unburden myself of almost any emotional state that encumbers me. Anyone, even and/or especially the domina, can experience a frame of mind heavy with thoughts of things past and things to come. When I am in this heavy state, I find I am constantly thinking about “being,” instead of expressing the lightness of one who just is. When we begin to play and I am not in an altered, accepting, exploring stale (meaning that I am not feeling particularly sexy or aroused before we begin), my mind connects first, which at the proper time gives notice to my heart. My heart, when it is ready, notifies my body. That means that the order of connection has been reversed: during a transcendental SM experience, my body (sensation) turns on first, then my heart (catharsis) beats faster, and only then does my head (insight and ego-deconstruction) engage.

In a romantic, consensual SM setting, you can confront and settle problems and dilemmas from your earliest life by exploring your sexuality—it just takes time, patience, and love, and someone who has a sexual appetite that compliments your own.