Repetition of humiliation and BDSM
articles and tutorials Theory and practice of BDSM
When it comes to humiliation, repetition is key. Usually there is one phrase or sentence that will make a sub explode with pleasure. One of the “rooms” at the dungeon where I worked was decorated like a schoolroom, only it was filled with whips and chains and books that no one ever read along with a desk, which people never sat at unless they were tied to it. It wasn’t unusual to walk into the “schoolroom” and find that someone had scrawled “I will not be a slut” about a hundred times on the chalkboard.
Make sure you pre-negotiate what type of humiliation your sub prefers.
Amanda, Mr. Hall, and Scooter all agreed that there are certain trigger words that just do it for some subs. Sometimes these are un-PC phrases that rational adults wouldn’t use in everyday interactions, like “dirty little faggot.” While certain racial and ethnic slurs might give some dudes raging boners, other dudes might be traumatized for life just hearing them. While one woman might enjoy having her small breasts criticized, another might find this type of derision is too much.
You want your partner to get off, not spend years in therapy.
During my time at the dungeon, I was called many things, but namely a whore, a slut, and a bitch. These were all pretty accurate actually! In fact, when called a “bitch” (even outside of the dungeon), I have always responded with “thank you,” since the word is derived from an Old Norse term for female canine. And if you’ve ever watched a nature special on female wolves or been lucky enough to see one in nature, you know these bitches have great instincts and are extremely intelligent, good caregivers, incredibly loyal, curious, and beautiful!
Dom: You are an insolent bitch!
Me: Thank you, Sir!
While “bitch,” “slut,” and “whore” are great, get creative! My panel of experts all suggested that the list of things one can say to joyfully humiliate his or her loved one or play partner is endless.
Amanda was full of suggestions. “You can make fun of him for having a small penis even if he has a large penis, for being fat even if he’s skinny, for being weak with no muscles, wearing ugly shoes, you know ... poor taste in general.”
Mr. Hall added, “You can also chide her for being a slut or even a cock-crazed dirty slut or for being a pussy-worshipping faggot even though this makes no sense. ‘Limp dick’ works, but not ‘dry pussy.’ I don’t know why ...”
“You could make fun of her for being such a slut, she has a soaking pussy,” I suggested.
“Exactly.”
I was already getting the hang of it.
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